Another Satisfied Patient!

Ladies and gentlemen of all reputes! Let Ol’ Doc inquire as to your attitude this fine morning. Finding your self all wound up, tied in knots, your stomach churning?

Are you nothing but a bunch of twisted tendons, messed up muscles, juxtaposed joints and syncopated synapses? Job, spouse and youngin’s have you twisting in the wind?

Never fear! Doc Hollen has a cure that helped even this young man who rolled up to Doc Hollen’s Wonder Wagon just last night.

Though he wishes to remain anonymounds, he did give Doc permission to share his story and his “before” photo attached to this testimonial. When doc says he rolled in, that doesn’t mean he drove, was driven or that he came in any vehicle of mobile transportation. He was so wound up and discombobalated he rolled in over the ground like some sort of human tumbleweed.

Doc tried traditional methodoxologies first, tying his arms to Clarence, Doc’s horse and his legs chained to an old oak tree. Doc sent Clarence away from the oak tree at a gallop. Clarence got up to  nearly 2 miles per hour as he raced away.

For a moment it appeared that the cure worked, but it wasn’t to be. The patient was stretched out to his full 7 feet 8 inches for moments. Doc was amazed, because when he rolled in the feller didn’t look to be much over 5 foot 6!

When Clarence was unhitched an the patient’s feet untied from the tree there was popping, whistling and a sudden “whang-a-dang-dang” and he twisted right back into the human yarn ball that he started out as.

Doc Hollen knew this called for a miracle of phantasmagoric propitiations. without hesitation he ran to the Wonder Wagon, took out the Industrial Size container of Doc Hollen’s Original Extract (pictured in the decorative and collectable fruit jar applicator) and dosed the patient with a full quart!

Within minutes the patient was not only fully relaxed but was unbundled and had grown a full beard. He stood up, paid Doc the discounted co-pay of $29.95 plus shipping and handling, tax and title and was on his way.

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Step Right Up

Good Day Folks!

Welcome to the virtual home of ol’ Doc Hollen, Impresario, Purveyor of Potent Potables, Raconteur, Master of the Mystical. In the mountains of Appalachia he might be known as a Herb Man or as some would say years ago a “Yarb Doctor” (Yarb = Herb).

If you are hurting and conflicted with aches and swellings, sprains, sore chests, poor chests, even empty hope chests, contracted cords or retracted muscles, stiff joints, wrenches, pinches, dislocations, revocations, cuts, corns or bruises, try Doc Hollen’s Tincture of Papyrus elixir for instantaneous relief.

Doc Hollen might even make the blind to walk again, the lame to see. He knows a cure for the common cold and for the right money will sell you a bottle of Doc Hollen’s Original Extract. That very extract is made of only the purest ingredients! Pure Spring Water, Pure Corn Mash, Pure Yeast and Pure Cane Sugar! Only the finest ingredients for Doc Hollen’s patients!

Wally, Doc Hollen's assistant, bottle washer and brew whang doodler

Untouched by human hands! Prepared in copper equipment passed down through generations of folks dedicated to separating patients from the cares of this world and their bankrolls!

Wally before inhaling Doc Hollen's Medicine for all these years

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The Medicine Show Wagon and Doc McConnell

It started with Doc McConnell and his Medicine Show… well that and his wagon.  That is Doc in the photo on the left in front of his Medicine Show Wagon. Here is how it all began…

Several years ago I sat down next to Doc in downtown Jonesborough during the National Storytelling Festival and talked for a while.  As he puffed on his pipe I told him I was a district manager for a pharmaceutical company.  He laughed and suggested I ought to be doing a Medicine Show.  He actually was hoping to put a “Medicine Show School” together.

We laughed and talked for some time about Medicine Shows and he gave me some ideas.  I didn’t have a wagon, but he mentioned the “low pitch” Medicine Show – done with just a suitcase on legs.  Thus my “Doctor Ironbeard’s Traveling Medicine Show”  The name came from an old children’s song:

My name is Doctor Ironbeard! Twiddly-widdly-witt, boom boom!
I’ll cure your ilness, then you’ll cheer! Twiddly-widdly-wit, boom boom!
For I can make the deaf to see! Twiddly-widdlyy-wit, boom boom boom boom!
The blind will walk, because of me! Twiddly-widdly-wit, boom boom!
Legs attached to an old suitcase, a few antique bottles, a spiel and I was on my way.  Later I changed the name to Doc Hollen… easier to remember and better marketing for me.  Doc Hollen sells Snake Oil, tincture of Papyrus, Worm Extractor, Radium Water and the “Original Extract” – made with the purest ingredients like spring water, corn, sugar and yeast…

Over the next several years I would see Doc McConnell and update him on my Medicine Show.  Each time we talked about his Medicine Show School and he would suggest ideas for mine.  He was such a generous man.

That was cured by the purchase of an old Amish buggy that was renovated to the latest and most fashionable of Medicine Show Wagons mankind has ever known!

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The Medicine Show

The Silver Tongue weaves a spell

Ladies and Gentlemen, Kind folks of all ages and descriptions, step right up and pause for a moment as you pass by. Right here you have the opportunity of a lifetime, not a coincidence, of course not! You were not led here by mere chance, but through a circuitous path of Serendipity!

You, yes even you now look upon one of the major medical discoveries of the 18th, 19th, 20th and 21st centuries all condensed through genetics, futuristic reflection and plain old mountain good sense into the person of Doc Hollen and his amazing Traveling Medicine Show!

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